If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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