she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
