..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I am one with the molecules
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
