I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize