therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
