Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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