it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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