i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
