and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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