I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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