mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
