my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
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just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
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They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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