google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
