ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
