Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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