Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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