it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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