I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize