I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
