Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
