If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
