I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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