I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
