Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
