ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
