sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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