It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
