I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.