Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.