I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.