she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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