I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
