I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
