I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
