she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
