ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
