why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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