my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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