I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize