Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
this hospital has no fireball
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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