VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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