My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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