I hope mine doesn't look like that
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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