Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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