I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
