apparently the secret to your success is patron
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize
