I think i peed on brittanys purse
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
