just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
