Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize