You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
