Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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