KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
