he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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