I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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