She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
