yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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