There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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