I want you more than these girls want KFC
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
