they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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