Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize