as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So much Jack, so little girl.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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