As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
