Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
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I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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