you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
40s are totally the cure
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
