Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
