Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
