question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
