so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
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